SWA: #MondayManStory for Singles

After the horrible experience as a newbie at the Single Women Anonymous group, I had to revitalize my thoughts with some kind words from all over the world wide web. Did you read how “you” blatantly assured me my professionalism is what is keeping me away from a perfectly fine specimen similar to Prince? I couldn’t believe it myself, I almost felt as if I wanted to walk out of the meeting (only after I told her how I felt about their group and where they can dispose of it…)tumblr_mwpur7hkty1spjeeao1_500

Now that I am done speaking in third person about myself, I would like to thank you for the quick responses I have received on the lovely topic of being single in a brand new world. Just yesterday after I was making my mark on the lovely blogging scene, I went to Facebook and saw approximately 3-5 friends getting engaged and I just face-palmed… I can’t win for losing when I feel extremely confident and settled in my position as a single woman. Social Media is the devil for singles, but one thing I can say about my displeasure with myself…I find balance in others happiness. After I secretly took my heart out of my body and viewed it for flaws… my thoughts smiled and I liked their engagement event. What more could I have done anyway?

debutart_jacquie-boyd_9411Yesterday, I had a moment. I listened to Disclosure ft. Sam Smith’s “Latch” and I immediately thought of a 22 year old that tickles my fancy… I guess I can disclose our secret romance or whatever it is called so it would make more sense as to how a SINGLE person views intimacy…

I met him 4 years ago when the little lad was only 18 years old. When it comes to men, I am attracted to weirdos and men who secretly behave like serial killers for reasons I am sure you can imagine, if not let me tell you… their passion, their aggression, their crazy face. Granted there’s only 10% of the population like this which could really play into my chronic single woman disorder. Anyway, his sister is one of my best friends and I was spending the summer with them. Granted, this little tyke never spoke a word to me and when I spoke to him, he simply dismissed me and kept walking. I made it my challenge to make him want me by any means necessary… obviously I succeeded but let me continue.

(aside: as I write this the song played on my phone and oh the butterflies… oh the butterflies… back to the story, ahem)

One night we were outside in the summer heat dancing to music. He freakishly stood and watched me as if I were a siren seducing a traveler…which made my attraction stronger as I told you I like crazy faced men. So, I slowly and seductively sashayed towards him… and proceeded to dance on him very hookerishly. Just imagine sitting at a Beyonce concert or the infamous Janet Jackson concert where they danced on audience members… if you have never seen the video feel free to check it out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBJz0KhZPxQ (go in two minutes)… So, I was dancing on him to an old-school jam by Tony Tone Toni and ever since then he has always made it clear how much he wants me! Only lately, I believe he has entered into the deep feelings and like a normal single woman would react…I am sheepishly nervous about moving forward with it.

A few weeks ago we were laying in the living room spooning and Latch came on and when it was over, he reached over me and stated this was our song and he liked it. I felt so giddy… so, now every time I hear the song I think of him and then the moment is dismissed. Is this really how I will be once someone or once he pursues me further…

We now return to the meeting as it was previously scheduled…

Me: What do you think about that story group?

You: Pretty racy stuff you share, Me. I am not sure you know what you want from him…maybe you just enjoy the idea of someone liking you so much you do not want to end the liking with a relationship.

Me: Maybe you are right… it’s pretty scary to make it to this stage but not have the opposite sex want to go further. How can I go further?… What can I do to go further?

You: You can let it happen and if it fails, you await the next person.

Me: That’s incredibly…dumb as hell.

You: Or you can sit here and complain…you never know until you try.

Me: No, you never try until you know…

 

 

SWA: Single Woman Anonymous First Meeting

If you are reading this post, you’ve probably been single all of your life (like me), close to being single (meaning you are on the verge of a bad break-up from your significant other), or have a desire to be single (but do not want to live the life of a single person, this world is quite cruel you know)… But I am here to tell you all is not lost. As you may be able to decipher at the moment, I am a 20-something year old single professional/unprofessional woman living in the southern parts of the United States. I guess it would be beneficial to introduce myself to you as I hide in shame…

The Single Woman Introduced

Me: Hello world…

You: Hello Me, what brings you here today?

Me: Well, you see I am a single woman on the verge of a meltdown. I have never been in a relationship before and not sure if I am even ready for one.

You: What do you mean by that? (excuse me, I am a social work graduate so reaching for more information or clarification is what I am known for! 🙂

Me: Well, I recently graduated from a prestigious graduate program in South Carolina and I always thought a family would come before my career…The First Wives Club told me so. I would go to an undergraduate program and find a husband…but I ended up going to an all-women’s private university and did not find any luck there??

You: Really, tell us more! You sound very exciting!

Me: So, then I decided to play the field a bit and attend a university known for graduating fine athletic men (and women, but they are not my type as I told you previous) only to enroll in a program that is predominately female and most of the men are either married, too old, or gay. Nothing wrong with that, but obviously they are not for me. So, I am here today to tell all of the secrets of what it feels like to be a single woman in the millennial world.

You: It seems like you are really on edge about your current status. What are some other things you would like to share with the group before we begin?

Me: Well, I don’t know what else to share… I have been through relationships but never been in a relationship. My previous potential mate decided to date other females while I was thinking we were on the verge of getting to know one another… then, I was beginning to fall for someone only to find out he did not like me at all or so I thought. You see, it is rough sometimes because someone may very well like me but I do not know what to do or how to reciprocate. Does this group help you…

You: Technically, you have been in relationships but it seems as if the men did not want a relationship from you, but wanted relations like most people your age want. You seem to live a very conservative lifestyle and that scares people away…but anyway, help you what?

Me: You know… learn how to reciprocate emotions to others when you are not sure how to do so? I think I really need assistance in that topic. Hold up a minute…scare people away?

You: Well, I am not sure what you will gain from your very open disclosure, but maybe your experience will be an inspiration to others who are currently single. Being single is not all that bad..

Me: But I am not sure how long I can cope with this…

Photo from debutart artist jaquie boyd