The Single Drought… #MondayManStory Saga

I don’t know where I have been the last two weeks; but I can tell you I had an amazing vacation before the school year starts back. I decided to take a visit to Florida since it was on my bucket list to visit there with my sister Aliyah, who unfortunately passed away from Oral Cancer last summer (read more about her here ).  When we were in undergrad at Columbia College in Columbia, South Carolina (GO KOALAS!), we have been planning and creating mental itineraries for a fun in the sun trip to Miami. If there is one thing single women hold true to is completing goals and past promises…why? Because we do not have men or partners to take up our time or derail us from completing our goals… meaning we have more time to party and to mingle with the other single and not-so-single crowd in the world. Going to Florida without Aliyah was hard, I can’t even tell you in a blog post how hard it was for me to go there without her, but one thing I can tell you is that her spirit was everyone you want to be like a visa card. When we were driving down to Orlando, we heard almost every song we have danced to in the clubs during our pre-teen years and pre-professional years plus some new joints I know she would have loved if she could have heard them. She was there regardless… I am Aliyah’s Keeper! 

Florida… good ole’ Florida… I received so much admiration and compliments while I visited Florida two weeks ago. Men, women, and children alike were in awe of my plus-size beauty and I felt like the Queen of England. However, when you are single and vacationing you are tempted to do things you may not do…but luckily I have great control. Let me tell you a story about a girl…

One humid night in Orlando, Florida, a young AND plump princess was walking back from the enchanted pool area where she frequented during the her week-long stay at a beautiful, luxurious 4.5 star resort by Walt Disney. She was sporting an elegant fuchsia colored bathing suit or a maxi dress (forgot), braids up in a bun showing off her gorgeous face, and wearing a towel to hide her milkshake from the boys in the yard… but she didn’t hide the milkshake from one boy. This boy was smitten with her so much, he came up to her room to hang out and get to know the young and plump princess. She couldn’t believe she could attract someone when so many beautiful slender princesses were around her… what does she do? What would she say? The young and plump princess was lost, so she decided to do what she would do for any person who she invites to her lovely 1 Bedroom Condo on the 12th floor… “Would you like a glass of water or anything to snack on?” The young and plump princess could see the young slender prince was even more smitten with her… he was staring at her so sheepishly she was beginning to blush. The young and plump princess did everything she could to make sure the young man was comfortable… even stayed far far away from him in Never, Never Land to make sure their lives would not “mix in war”. The young and plump princess finally got called to take a seat by the young and slender prince, so she did. He couldn’t stop staring at her and telling her she was beautiful. What more can you do… but smile. The young and plump princess was not use to receiving compliments from men… especially men over 600 miles away from where she lived.

Unfortunately, the young slender prince was intoxicated a bit and was focused on “mixing war” strategies more so than getting to know the young and plump princess. Being a woman of extreme resistance, she denied the young and slender prince of any secret treasures and he decided to pursue the young and plump princesses travel companion instead. The young and plump princess was hurt… she went into her bedroom and cried for her sister Aliyah. How she wished Princess Aliyah was around to tell her it was okay and that he was not with her for the right reasons and to hold her head up… but even though the young and plump princess knew Princess Aliyah would tell her this in her mind, she could not escape the fact that she felt defeated. The young and plump princess lost the war… even though she didn’t even try to be an opponent. So, she went and took a bath in the Jacuzzi tub with the ever so comforting jets for about 2 hours and cried some more. Her travel companion decided to have war stories with him on numerous battlefields in their living area and sent her a message that he came back… the young and plump princess said “Eff them both” and turned up her tunes.

The young slender prince who pursued the young and plump princess did not even say goodbye for he was smitten by the travel companion’s treasures… he forgot who invited him in and gave him some of her water and time. He didn’t even say…goodbye.

Hopefully you are not crying tears or sobbing at the story you just heard, but this is what happened to your author in Orlando… the hell you may be wondering? Well I wondered it too! My friend had intercourse with a guy who was into me because I would not have sex with him… I forgave her but the damage is done. I obviously cannot bring men around her anymore. That was just odd. I told some friends of mine about it and while the women felt my pain, the men, stated it was my fault because I decided not to have sex with a stranger. Well, I’ll be a stuck-up tart for the rest of my days before I lay down with a man I just met… I do have standards I live by. I won’t knock any one else’s hustle or who they are for it has nothing to do with  me… but I will uphold how I am regardless if that leaves me single for the rest of my freaking life!

So onto Miami… best weekend ever. I forgot about the terrible time I had in Orlando and enjoyed the rest of my vacation. We met a guy, let’s call him Haitian Station, who worked at the resort we stayed in down in Miami. He was really nice and sweet… and similar to the young slender prince from Orlando, he was smitten with  me as well. Obviously, I am staying in the wrong state… Anyway, we went to a club down in Miami and I was the life of the party. I told myself after what happened in Orlando, I needed to have some fun. I do not drink, but that night all drinks were free until 12:30 and I decided to get wasted. I didn’t care I wanted to wash away the previous situation…. and it worked. The Haitian Station was still and still is smitten with me (we connected on Facebook) and being a Jamaican woman, we meshed very well physically (dancing wise that is). For a plump vixen, I knocked all of the skinnier females out the water because I literally danced for four hours straight… I had a great time.

I am going back to Miami in October… with some hesitation but I really enjoyed my time there. I am skipping the meeting today, but hopefully next time in a SHORTER post, the meeting will resume.