After the horrible experience as a newbie at the Single Women Anonymous group, I had to revitalize my thoughts with some kind words from all over the world wide web. Did you read how “you” blatantly assured me my professionalism is what is keeping me away from a perfectly fine specimen similar to Prince? I couldn’t believe it myself, I almost felt as if I wanted to walk out of the meeting (only after I told her how I felt about their group and where they can dispose of it…)
Now that I am done speaking in third person about myself, I would like to thank you for the quick responses I have received on the lovely topic of being single in a brand new world. Just yesterday after I was making my mark on the lovely blogging scene, I went to Facebook and saw approximately 3-5 friends getting engaged and I just face-palmed… I can’t win for losing when I feel extremely confident and settled in my position as a single woman. Social Media is the devil for singles, but one thing I can say about my displeasure with myself…I find balance in others happiness. After I secretly took my heart out of my body and viewed it for flaws… my thoughts smiled and I liked their engagement event. What more could I have done anyway?
Yesterday, I had a moment. I listened to Disclosure ft. Sam Smith’s “Latch” and I immediately thought of a 22 year old that tickles my fancy… I guess I can disclose our secret romance or whatever it is called so it would make more sense as to how a SINGLE person views intimacy…
I met him 4 years ago when the little lad was only 18 years old. When it comes to men, I am attracted to weirdos and men who secretly behave like serial killers for reasons I am sure you can imagine, if not let me tell you… their passion, their aggression, their crazy face. Granted there’s only 10% of the population like this which could really play into my chronic single woman disorder. Anyway, his sister is one of my best friends and I was spending the summer with them. Granted, this little tyke never spoke a word to me and when I spoke to him, he simply dismissed me and kept walking. I made it my challenge to make him want me by any means necessary… obviously I succeeded but let me continue.
(aside: as I write this the song played on my phone and oh the butterflies… oh the butterflies… back to the story, ahem)
One night we were outside in the summer heat dancing to music. He freakishly stood and watched me as if I were a siren seducing a traveler…which made my attraction stronger as I told you I like crazy faced men. So, I slowly and seductively sashayed towards him… and proceeded to dance on him very hookerishly. Just imagine sitting at a Beyonce concert or the infamous Janet Jackson concert where they danced on audience members… if you have never seen the video feel free to check it out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBJz0KhZPxQ (go in two minutes)… So, I was dancing on him to an old-school jam by Tony Tone Toni and ever since then he has always made it clear how much he wants me! Only lately, I believe he has entered into the deep feelings and like a normal single woman would react…I am sheepishly nervous about moving forward with it.
A few weeks ago we were laying in the living room spooning and Latch came on and when it was over, he reached over me and stated this was our song and he liked it. I felt so giddy… so, now every time I hear the song I think of him and then the moment is dismissed. Is this really how I will be once someone or once he pursues me further…
We now return to the meeting as it was previously scheduled…
Me: What do you think about that story group?
You: Pretty racy stuff you share, Me. I am not sure you know what you want from him…maybe you just enjoy the idea of someone liking you so much you do not want to end the liking with a relationship.
Me: Maybe you are right… it’s pretty scary to make it to this stage but not have the opposite sex want to go further. How can I go further?… What can I do to go further?
You: You can let it happen and if it fails, you await the next person.
Me: That’s incredibly…dumb as hell.
You: Or you can sit here and complain…you never know until you try.
Me: No, you never try until you know…